I’m gonna be honest. I’ve got nothin. I’ve been trying to think all night about what to write about for Friday’s post and I just have to admit that I’m slightly brain-dead. I truly don’t have any deep thoughts left in me. I can’t think of anything funny to say and my A.D.D. mind is failing me. It happens. And knowing is half the battle. 😉
So in the spirit of the name of my blog…allow me to ramble just a bit. I want to thank you all for your replies to yesterday’s post about Joshua. He’s such a special guy and I’m glad you all got to kind-of meet him 🙂
I didn’t just put up the post about Joshua yesterday, I also put up a bunch of writings that I’ve done about my experiences in Africa. I’m passionate about the work that’s been done there. But I do have something I want to be clear about. This is a little awkward but I need to say it if we’re going to continue our relationship. I am not any more special than anyone else is. No more special than you are.
I had a phone conversation last night with a dear loved one and she kept saying how much she admired me and how she doesn’t know how I do it all. I’ve heard this before and I appreciate the heart behind it. But what concerned me is she kept putting herself down and comparing herself to me. (Apparently she didn’t read the Apples to Oranges post earlier this week. :))
So just to make myself feel better, I’m gonna do a John Maxwell and tell you all some of my faults.
*Besides the obvious, like I can’t seem to lose 20 pounds, the biggest one is that I’m completely lacking in self-discipline (which of course contributes to the 20 pounds ;)). I’ve been trying for so many years to conquer my lack of discipline, but it’s a struggle and I’m definitely a work in progress.
*I yell at my kids too much. I’m not a screaming banshee but I still yell more than I’d like. (I’m pretty good about apologizing tho.)
*I stay up way too late (It’s 1:17 a.m. as I type this). And then I don’t want to get up in the morning. I do get up…I get my kids off to school and then my plan is always to get lots of stuff done or go work out before my hubby gets up at 9:30. In reality, I almost always crawl back into bed with him and sleep until about 10 a.m.
*I’m a procrastinator. I know that the saying goes, “Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” But my brain seems to be hard-wired more for, “Put it off until you absolutely have to get it done, then you’ll do a better job.” (I know…it makes no sense. As I’ve gotten older I’ve made progress in this area at times. But my default is still procrastination.)
*And the one that probably causes me the most stress and shame..(drum roll please) my house always seems to be a mess. I really admire those people who keep their houses picked up all the time. I think it’s very impressive. But I don’t seem to be able to do it for more than a week. And then when it starts to get messy I get really overwhelmed and I shut down. I have clutter behind every door and drawer in my house. And don’t even get me started on how much laundry a family of six generates. This “messy house” issue has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember. And it stresses me every day.
I tell you all this so that if any of you have been comparing your weaknesses with my strengths, you can just stop it! That’s not what the point of my blog is. I’m sharing this “Fault List” with you because I want you to relax around me. I want you to be honest with me because you know I’m willing to be honest with you.
The good news is that God is not done with me (or you) yet. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Thank God for that.
In the interest of fairness, I will say I’m very good at going on vacations and trips. And I think it’s good to do what you’re good at. I keep telling Bill he should take me on vacation again cuz I’m so good at it. So, if you hear of me taking a trip somewhere, you’ll know it’s just Bill giving me the opportunity to feel good about myself.
Thanks for letting me ramble. Turns out I had something to say after all 🙂
UPDATE: 2016- Wow, a lot can change in four years. As I read this over, I find it so encouraging to see that I’ve made significant progress in all these areas. Don’t ever let anyone tell you people don’t change. Anyone can change if they put their mind to it. Now, lest you think I’m saying I’ve conquered all my faults…I still have plenty of things to work on. But these things that plagued me four years ago? Well, here are the updates:
- I’ve lost that twenty pounds. As a matter of fact, I lost 30 and plan to lose 20 more. Self-discipline is an area I have to focus on but I’ve made so many changes and I’ve been very disciplined, so, Yay!
- Yelling at my kids…very rare these days. Of course, my oldest was my biggest challenge and she’s almost 21 and out of the house…so, there’s that.
- This year, I challenged myself to turn into a morning person. And I’ve done it. If you’d told me five years ago that I’d get up five days a week around 5:30am when I don’t actually need to be out of bed till 7:30am, I’d have said you were certifiably insane. I would have been wrong. I’m loving my mornings. They are the key to getting all my work done!
- I’m still a bit of a procrastinator. That may not change a ton. I get my work done but sometimes I like the ticking clock hanging over my head. It’s kind of how I roll, at this point.
- The messy house…still an issue. But not nearly as much as it was. I still have clutter that I keep trying to find the time to deal with. But my house is so much better overall. If you’d “dropped by” a few years ago, unannounced, 9 times out of 10, I would have been mortified by the mess. Not now. Most of the time I’ve got things under control. Just don’t look in my linen closet!
This update was very encouraging for me…maybe I’ll write a new post about it. But for now, I just felt I should set the record straight. 😉