da boys

Missing Gene

I think I’m missing a mom gene. I was talking today with some friends who are going with me to Africa and they were getting a little teary…saying that when they get on the plane they are going to have some trouble holding it together. They’ll be thinking about their kids and they may get upset. As they talked I began wondering if there’s something wrong with me.

I love my kids. I will miss them. But I feel like a bad mom because I guarantee you I will not be weepy when we leave! Maybe it’s because I have 4 kids and often feel overwhelmed. I’m looking forward to 2 whole weeks of not hearing “Mom…mom…mom…mom…mom…”

Maybe it’s because I’m not a worrier? I fully expect to come back and I know they’ll be just fine without me. So why would I cry? I don’t know. But I did feel a little guilty about it. Until my boys began arguing with each other the minute we got in the door. I felt a little less guilty then.

There’s an annoying pecking order in my house. Sixteen tries to parent fourteen. (He hates that!) Fourteen tries to parent Ten. (He hates that!) Ten tries to parent Seven. (He hates that!) And poor Seven…I guess he could kick the cat but thankfully he doesn’t. He just yells a lot and then goes in his room to build a Lego village. I’ve been trying to figure out how to dismantle this pecking order for many years but to no avail.

However there is light at the end of the tunnel. It definitely seems to have let up between the oldest two. I think this is just a particularly difficult time for Ten and Seven. Most days I think I should wear black and white stripes with a whistle. Outside the home my kids are awesome. Most of them are polite to other people (I have earlier established that Seven thinks rude is funny…but he’s getting better). They do well in school. They don’t have any social or behavioral issues in class and their teachers love them. But once we’re home, all bets are off. At this point they just really do not like each other which doesn’t make for a peaceful home. Is it any wonder I’m looking forward to getting on that plane?

No, I won’t need any tissues on the air plane. I’ll bring them for my friends who have the mom gene that I’m missing. But I’ll be reading a book with a peaceful smile on my face.

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7 thoughts on “Missing Gene”

  1. Sounds like you’re in good company! I’m somewhere in the middle. I think I have that Mom Gene, but it’s recessive. I got totally weepy when the baby (my “Ten”) started kindergarten, and when “Eighteen” turned 16, and I’m sure I will again when she walks across the stage in 4 months to graduate, but honestly, I forget to think about them when I’m at work sometimes. Thanks for dispelling the myth I had going on in my head that I must be a bad mom when I’ve suddenly realized “ohmygosh, I ‘forgot’ to think about the girls” 6 hours into my shift!
    Love ya, love your blog…keep it up!

  2. I’m with you, my sweet! Mother of five who’s always excited to get away. Lord knows they will be there with all their special bells and whistles when you reenter! My mom and dad used to leave just as quickly as we walked in. They had the car running and their bags packed at the door!!! Bless them for helping out!

    Love your posts
    Michelle z

  3. Well, I’m sure you know that I didn’t have that gene either and I’m pretty sure my mother didn’t, so you can blame it on your upbringing or ancestry or both if that makes you feel any better. And I’m also not a worrier, so I think that might be a big part of it.And we both raised our children to be able to get their own breakfast etc,etc,so that might be part of it too.

  4. I’m missing it too….just tested it with Seminar and found that, no, I don’t get weepy and at the end of the day I have often forgotten to call or even check on them. I, too, have felt guilty that other Moms are racing out to call and check on children between sessions….not me….I’m heading to the coffee and cookies stations and going to the bathroom….there’s only so much time, ya know.

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