I think I’m missing a mom gene. I was talking today with some friends who are going with me to Africa and they were getting a little teary…saying that when they get on the plane they are going to have some trouble holding it together. They’ll be thinking about their kids and they may get upset. As they talked I began wondering if there’s something wrong with me.
I love my kids. I will miss them. But I feel like a bad mom because I guarantee you I will not be weepy when we leave! Maybe it’s because I have 4 kids and often feel overwhelmed. I’m looking forward to 2 whole weeks of not hearing “Mom…mom…mom…mom…mom…”
Maybe it’s because I’m not a worrier? I fully expect to come back and I know they’ll be just fine without me. So why would I cry? I don’t know. But I did feel a little guilty about it. Until my boys began arguing with each other the minute we got in the door. I felt a little less guilty then.
There’s an annoying pecking order in my house. Sixteen tries to parent fourteen. (He hates that!) Fourteen tries to parent Ten. (He hates that!) Ten tries to parent Seven. (He hates that!) And poor Seven…I guess he could kick the cat but thankfully he doesn’t. He just yells a lot and then goes in his room to build a Lego village. I’ve been trying to figure out how to dismantle this pecking order for many years but to no avail.
However there is light at the end of the tunnel. It definitely seems to have let up between the oldest two. I think this is just a particularly difficult time for Ten and Seven. Most days I think I should wear black and white stripes with a whistle. Outside the home my kids are awesome. Most of them are polite to other people (I have earlier established that Seven thinks rude is funny…but he’s getting better). They do well in school. They don’t have any social or behavioral issues in class and their teachers love them. But once we’re home, all bets are off. At this point they just really do not like each other which doesn’t make for a peaceful home. Is it any wonder I’m looking forward to getting on that plane?
No, I won’t need any tissues on the air plane. I’ll bring them for my friends who have the mom gene that I’m missing. But I’ll be reading a book with a peaceful smile on my face.