Four days. I have four days left to get ready to leave my family and work in Africa for two weeks. Yes, I’m very excited…but right now the feeling is more like I’m drowning. Once I’m on the plane, I’ll be fine. I’m not worried about the trip or any thing like that.
I just have so much to do before I leave that I don’t know where to start. I know for some of you out there (the really organized ones) this will sound silly. You’re saying in your head, or maybe out loud to the computer, “Just start, already! Duh.” (You should really stop talking to your computer, by the way.)
Yeah, I know. My brain just doesn’t work that way. If I get too many things going on up there it just shuts down. Picture a head-spinning robot with smoke coming out it’s ears that lets out a high-pitched whistle and then just stops. Unmoving. That’s my brain on overload.
There are so many different trains of thought going on up there that my poor children have to ask me a question three times before it even registers that they’ve spoken.
None of my usual tricks seem to be working. I’ve made a To Do list. But I just keep looking at it blankly. Think “Deer in the Headlights.”
I know I’ll get the majority of my stuff done. I know it will all work out fine and in four days time I’ll be boarding a plane and anything left undone will keep. But I don’t like leaving things undone. And right now, I’m just really frustrated with my dead-robot brain.
All the Martha’s (my pet name for the “super-organized”) out there will not understand me. (It’s okay, I love you but don’t always understand you either!) But there are people like me. I know you’re out there. You get me.
It’s not that I’m not trying to get stuff done. I AM! It’s just that there are ping-pong balls bouncing wildly in my head and they are loud! They make me forget why I just walked into the laundry room, or why I turned on my computer, or why I went out to the van. If I could imprint my To-do list on the insides of my eyelids…that would be helpful. Then, every time I find myself turning in a circle in the kitchen wondering what I was supposed to do, I could just blink and see the next item on the list and know that’s what’s next!
My daughter, “Sixteen” is smart. She brought me a piece of paper and said, “Here, make a list.”
I said, “I have one!” I clicked on the little purple folder icon that houses my long To-do list. “See?”
“Yes,” she said, “but you need an old-fashioned paper list. It will be easier for you.”
She’s right! I resisted at first because I didn’t want to take time to write down what I’ve already typed. (Yes, I could print it from the computer but the program I use makes that difficult.) But as I sit here writing this, I realize the genius of her plan. (She may not even realize it.) The problem is that every time I go to my computer to check my list, I see that I have an email to respond to, or remember something I was supposed to order for the trip, etc. and I get sucked into the void that is “online.” So my To-do list is actually sabotaging me!
I’m gonna go finish that paper list. It’s the next best thing to the list on my eyelids.
If y’all wanna say a prayer for my brain to get unstuck, that would be cool. Some of you have asked about updates while I’m in Africa. I will be having my son, “Fourteen” update the blog with some of the things I’ve already written about Africa and I may have him put some live updates on here. But I will definitely be updating my Facebook page. So if you haven’t already, and you’re a “face-booker” please go to my author page at Rebekah Ruth and click “like.” Then you’ll be able to see daily updates. I’ll try to post again before I go. That will only happen if my brain comes back to me. 🙂