There is a line that I have been peering over. I don’t seem to be able to land on the successful side of that line very often. Most of the time, I’m over here struggling on the messy-house, unfinished to-do list, piles, piles and more piles, emotionally eating, undisciplined, too-late-to-bed side of the line. The side that I continually allow accusations from. It consistently tells me I’m a failure and sadly, I too often believe it.
On the other side of the line lives acceptance, approval, applause (and a size-4 pair of jeans)…all of which are synonymous with love, in my skewed view of things. On my side lives disapproval, disappointment and shame.
I thought this line was made of granite or steel. But I’ve realized it’s a figment of my imagination, as immaterial as the holograms in Star Wars. Flickering in and out, not made of any real substance.
God is with me on my side of the”line” because He is with me wherever I happen to be. He doesn’t wait for me to cross over before He looks on me with love. He loves me in the midst of my failure as much as He does in the midst of my success. I can’t earn one drop more of his love because it’s already boundless. That line doesn’t exist unless I let it.
What a cause for joy. What a relief. Even if others in my life prefer me to live on the “successful” side of the line, to the one who matters most, it doesn’t actually matter. And armed with that knowledge, I am free to be who I am. I do need to be more disciplined and I do need to accomplish things on my to-do list. But my worth isn’t determined by those things. And that is freeing. So every time that line begins to shimmer into existence, I’m going to remind myself that NOTHING separates me from God’s love. There is no line. And you should know, that nothing separates you either!
I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. Romans 8:38-39, MSG
P.S. Friends, I read a blog post in September that completely floored me. It’s was by an amazing sister-writer, Idelette McVickers. She wrote about this line…the line I had never named before. But as I read her words I was amazed at how they pierced right to the heart of me. I knew this line so very intimately. It had been a part of my life for so long it felt normal. But Idelette’s post revealed this line for the fraud that it is. My post today is a response to hers. You can find it by clicking here. I highly recommend reading it! And thank you Idelette for your freeing words!!